what's the buzz?

So Tom's latest annoying thing to do is chew on electrical plugs. The other day he chewed all the way through the VCR cable. We were right mad about that one - he was just trying to be an ass because he was hungry. Before this we hadn't really been aware of his newfound electrical fettish. Although it does explain why, one day, K came home to find him with his eyelashes curled. His eyelashes are long white strands of hair that stick straight up in singles. They're quite hard and sturdy, but that day, 2 of the lashes over one eye were all crinkled up and he wouldn't let us touch them. We mused that maybe he was experimenting with K's straightner - using it to curl. My take on it was that he'd bitten off a bit more cord than he could chew and gotten a nasty shock... I guess another hypothesis could be that he recieved some news that made his hair curl - literally (hawhaw).

another recent Tom related tale involved a pretty bad joke that both K and I thought hilarious - we must have laughed for days at that one. As I mentioned before - Tom can be a real ass when he wants to be - especially when he's hungry. One day on our way out he was encircling legs, tripping us up and being a general jerk, and K said - " we really do have a pet ass - not a pet cat" to which I replied - "can you imagine if we really had a pet ass?" (I'm laughing even now) - I mean - can you imagine?! - sharing an apartment with him would not be a small feat.... sharing a bed with him would be no small feat indeed!!!! And his litter box~!!!!! well - let's not even speak of it.
I mean, think about those times Tom likes to jump on top of the futon or onto the bookshelf, things suddenly take on an entirely new perspective. and his midnight songs would be something for the neighbours to complain about. The deep throated MRAUW!!! is difficult enough - imagine if it was a HEEEHAWWWW!!!!

ok. enough silly musing. we are glad that our cat - as much of the ass that he is - is still a cat.

Tom, the Cod-liver Oil consuming Cat

This morning was the final straw, the living end, the last time, the limit.

Recently Tom's been climbing onto my desk and getting to my bookshelf. He does it to K's bookshelf as well. We think he's looking for a book to read. The other day we even asked him:
"Tom, do you want a book to read?"
He didn't answer.
What he probably said was "Where's my food at, bitch?!" (Tom's been swearing a lot recently).

Eventually I figured out that he likes to play with my perfume bottles. They are small and he has this thing about batting small objects with his paw. Maybe he likes the way they smell. Who knows what pheromones they put in those things.
But this morning, when K came in to give him love I discovered that my pill bottle was on the floor. I had found it on the floor the previous day, and, thinking I dropped it - I placed it onto the top shelf. So I know that's where it had been.
So I know that the boy must have gotten it down somehow from the top shelf... and opened it.... and EATEN MY CODLIVER OIL CAPSULES.... They were scattered on the ground, some of them had been broken open - I don't know how many more he must have swallowed.
K and I had a very good laugh as I cleaned up - no wonder he coat was so nice and shiny. No wonder he was being so nice to me - sleeping, quietly in my bed. We always knew that he was a healthy cat (what with his affections for broccoli and beans) but this is the living end....!

I shook my head and put the bottle into my bottom drawer - if Tom somehow gets it out of there I'm leaving. I'm moving out - and K says she will too - we'll leave him to use the apartment for his own purposes. He really is an intelligent boy... and a little creepy.